My Name is Rage: Page 149

Loved Right

Nobody has ever loved me right, including myself.
It wasn’t until I learned to love myself
that I realized how inadequate the love was
that I had been so quick to accept.
I tried to fill the voids I felt with everything outside of myself
until I found that I was enough to complete me
and my need was never for someone to teach me how to be whole
but rather for someone to contribute their presence to my life
and compliment my soul.

They say hurt people hurt people.
I’ve come to realize this pain is never intentional,
it’s a naturally occurring byproduct
of someone not knowing their own worth.
It’s the result of the way that they respond to all those hurts –
the experiences that drain the life from all the lies
they tell themselves to believe
and all the promises they know no one ever really keeps.

Poison is me, trusting too much and loving too deep.
Poison is me finding myself on the floor,
letting you make it to where I can’t even breathe.
How do you kill my spirit without ever touching me?
How does it always turn out that I end up
having to prove myself to everybody?
The child within keeps her eye on the prize –
she won’t beg, but she will bite.
Her mind’s sharp and her thighs are tight.
She still sees the light through my darkness
and she’s got all the trappings of a goddess.

And’s she’s just waiting on the day I learn to love us.